Affection or Titillation?
John Butch Preston
y name is Ted. My grandfather always said that if you’re going to kiss a woman kiss her on the mouth. I’ve never had enough nerve to do that, but every time I took Papaw to church, he had a field day. As I witnessed it, some of his hugs and kisses seemed more of the titillating kind than the affectionate-brotherly-love type, and I think one or two of the women felt that way as well. I once heard someone say that the closer a woman is to the church, the easier she is to seduce. There could be some truth to that, but I’ve never gone to church enough to find out. My biggest worry now is that if I ever reach the age of 94, will I still have to put up with the plague of sexual desire in my wise old mind. But alas, it may be in my genes.
Of course, you wouldn’t want to hug a member of the family at a wake in an improper way—unless of course you are a sociopath. It seems to me that women would think twice about wearing perfume at a wake, for the modern cosmetic industry advertises it as a pheromone to enhance one’s sexual attraction. In olden days the only perfume women used was vanilla extract to cover up the stink of not having bathed all winter—a far cry from today’s chemical fragrances designed to lure you in.
Hugs among family members often seem obligatory, for instance when one gets out of the hospital, or has a birthday and so on, or when one of them is crying. Although you hate to, you must hug your brother because of his broken leg, even though the accident happened when he wrecked and tore up your new bicycle. The only exception to the obligatory hug is with your mother, whom you should hug as much and often as possible. Spouses need to hug at least once a day, if not, something is wrong.
To get to the Joe Biden controversy, my theory is this: The man lost his wife and daughter in an automobile accident, perhaps the most devastating thing that can happen to a human being, affecting him to the very core of his soul. To compound this, he later lost a son to cancer. I think Joe Biden is not so much trying to show affection as he is seeking it’s comfort. So perhaps it is the recipient’s love and affection he needs. Think about it. But the only way to know for sure whether Joe’s embrace is affection or titillation, is to see a photo of how far down on a woman’s back his hand falls, followed by a tender squeeze. That is the tell-tell sign of true titillation.
Biden would most assuredly destroy Trump in a debate, but I don’t think he will get that far as a candidate. The country needs radical change, not the slow progress of Obama. Hug someone today. XXXOOO