Our 28th spotlight in the FACES OF HOPE: WE DO RECOVER series will focus on Mark La Palme’s story, “For There Is Nothing That God Cannot Do (Luke 1:37)”
The story is fairly typical to start! I was raised in a great loving home.
My mom and dad were married for 53 years and I was raised in the same home that my mom and dad would pass away living in. My dad worked at the same place for over 30 years. Commitment and ethics were strong values that were past on. My brother was a Vietnam veteran and one of my heroes. My sister was a Marine and also one of my heroes. I was a normal kid; great in school and loved sports especially baseball. It was when I was 11 or 12 when I was a boy scout that one of my best friends fell in a cow pond. It was November and cold in northeastern Connecticut. The cow ponds were mostly artesian wells in the area deep and cold. When my friend fell in I didn’t even think but to save him. So me and a friend of mine formed a human chain and reached into the frigid pond and pulled him out. Boy did we get in trouble when we got home as we weren’t supposed to play anywhere near those ponds! We were also recognized by the state police as heroes for saving his life.
That next week or so that same boy would offer me a joint and nothing would ever be the same. Everything changed almost overnight. I would find my new love and what would control my life for the next 26 or 27 years. Between the ages of 17 and 38 I would go from pot to alcohol to cocaine, acid, crystal meth, crack, opium, pills and heroin. I would overdose twice, try and commit suicide twice, be married 3 times and divorced twice, go thru 13 treatment centers and lastly be arrested over 40 times and be sentenced to 6 years in prison. I went from hopelessness to despair and back and forth. While I was raised in a loving home it wasn’t a home of faith. I would find this one component that was missing in my life to be the most crucial. I went through some fine and expensive treatment centers back in the 80’s.Some $30-40,000 per month 30 years ago.
I went to the best of science and minds. But I lacked the most fundamental building blocks that brought what I so desperately needed and wanted. Faith in Christ! I lacked Peace and Joy and contentment in my life. I realize that I never ever had that until I surrendered my life to Jesus in 1999. And all at once my life was changed. I felt like a brand new baby! I felt clean! In 1999 in a moment my life changed forever! I went from hell to heaven, addicted to accepted. Tammy (my wife) and I would open our home to the homeless in the area and over the the next 2 years from July 1999 to July 2001 we would house over 250 men, women and children all for free and we would see hundreds come to the saving Grace of Jesus. This would be the beginnings of what we call Isaiah House and Patricia’s Place two of Kentucky’s premier substance use treatment centers.
I’ve learned that God doesn’t waste anything; not one moment. Today I’m almost 18 years sober. The father of 4 and grandfather of 9. Hope is restored, peace and Joy is had never to be lost again. Praise God.
Describe your aha moment
It was a series of events in a short time. It’s January of 1999 and my mom would die of cancer (she was my enabler). In March of 1999 my grandmother would pass (she lived with me and my mom and dad my whole life and she died at 100 years old). In February of 1999 my wife (#3 – Tammy) would file for divorce. In March of 1999 I was $800,000.00 in debt and had my wife write $150,000.00 in bad checks all that bounced. I had my own business that would be basically confiscated by attorneys and sheriffs. Simultaneously God sends me a man released from prison after serving 9 ½ years and he would spend the next 90 days witnessing to me about the love of Jesus and July 1st God would do for me what I couldn’t do for myself. He saved me and set me free with one prayer.
Describe the feelings and emotions while in active addiction?
At first it was probably the normal shame, guilt, fear, despair, hopelessness and at some point I stopped! I stopped feeling; I stopped caring and turned off all my emotions. It was a very scary place to be. Numb! Not caring at all if I lived or died. Almost hoping my next high would be my last because I would die.
What is the driving force that keeps you going when times get tough?
Without a doubt it’s my relationship with my Father God and Jesus my savior.
Yet the driving force changes at times. Unfortunately sometimes we don’t feel or sense God. I have been blessed to have a wife who loves me and holds me accountable. Children who have forgiven me and want a relationship with me. Grand Children who look up to me and look forward to seeing me. Co-workers who depend on me and fellowship with me. And lastly others either in active addiction or those making the daily pilgrimage in sobriety that hold me accountable or that I hold accountable. We all need multiple driving forces that keep us going because one or two may fail at any time. God will never fail me.
What advice do you have for the addict that is still struggling?
Don’t give up! And don’t think that God has given up on you even though loved ones may have! It’s not a cliché Gods got a crazy cool plan for you. Do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. I was in active addiction for 25-26 years. Looking back id do three years in treatment to have avoided the almost three decades I spent in hell.
What obstacles or roadblocks have you encountered along your recovery journey?
Sobriety isn’t an event it’s a pilgrimage. It’s day to day. It’s work. It generally doesn’t just happen and continue accidentally or by osmosis. For me I have 3 basic rules. 1. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (Sounds simple but it aint). The biggest road block is me and my desires!
2. KISS (keep it simple stupid) moving slowly and deliberately. Not over complicating my life with relationships that are either to soon or just to many.
3. Most folk don’t plan to fail they fail to plan (working my plan and goals every day literally killing what ever gets in the way of it- stick to the plan).
What is something you want people who have never struggled with addiction to know?
Addiction literally molests the entire human experience. It’s unlike anything else in the sense that it affects us spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, financially, legal and employment. Everything we as addicts do is viewed through the lenses of addiction. It takes time and a supernatural commitment to sit through the process of learning to see everything though new sober eyes.
What advice do you have for family members of person in active addiction?
Stop any and all enabling. Enabling only prolongs the process. Get into a community support group like Celebrate Recovery yourselves. Addiction is unique in the sense that it truly makes the whole family sick as not only does the addict see everything through the lenses of addiction but over time you do as well. Get educated and seek out professionals that are seeing real success and take their advice. There are some truths that are universal but everyone and every situation is unique.
Closing thoughts:
I truly believe that Peace and joy are the building blocks of sobriety. Sobriety isn’t a moment in life but it’s a way of life. I had been actively pursuing happiness all my life only to find that once I caught it my ideas of it changed. What made me happy at 10 didn’t at 15 and what made me happy at 15 didn’t at 20 and so on.
It’s when I stopped chasing happiness that I found true Peace and Joy and Contentment. And those things aren’t dependent on people, places or things. They are internal and eternal and no one can take them from me because they are gifts that can only come from a relationship with Christ.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, please call Addiction Recovery Care at 606.638.0938 or visit them on the web at www.arccenters.com. You can also contact Isaiah House at 859.375.9200 or at www.isaiah-house.org.
There is hope. There is help.
