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'Twas the night before Christmas...

(Lawrence County style)

by Mark Grayson

 


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the courthouse,

Not a politician was stirring, not even Chris the door mouse;

The elections were won, after much urgent care

so the same old ones could remain on taxpayers' welfare;

 

The people were nestled asleep in their beds,

whiie the “leaders” upstairs decided what bull they could be fed;

And Johnny the judge was dressed up with no cap,

Deciding how to keep his cronies snug in his lap;


When the phone rang suddenly and he heard lots of chatter,

From the county garage he learned what was the matter;

To the gravel pile he went flying like a rocket,

There he found his buddy Homer with his hands stuck in his pockets;

 

Johnny tried and he tried to get them out,

But finally called Sue, the one with the big clout; 

When she arrived they knew there was gonna be trouble,

But she settled down when Johnny said he’d pay double;


He then thought to call EMS to see if they could get there

But Mikie was too busy playing on Facebook, no time to spare,  

He then called his fiscal court choir to come lessen the shame,

He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;


"Now, Grumpy! now, Dumpy! now, Redhead and Flash!

Call Phil, call Tim, call all the rich office staff!

Tell ‘em we have a problem with a guy at the gravel barn

His hands are stuck in his pockets and all he can do is say “Gosh darn!”

 

Sue said don’t call the sheriff, he might make a report,

And Mike is not there, he’s off at some resort;

Call McKinney, he might have a tool,

No, she said, only family gets jobs and that's the rule.


So with all of his might, and with some help from sweet Sue,

and the typeless office staff they all yelled BOO!

Ol Homer jumped high and away from the threat,

when his hands squirted out and he flew like a jet;

 

And then, in a twinkling, he climbed on the roof

And before you knew it he was gone in a poof!

As Johnny and the Magi’s were milling around,

Down, down came Ol Homer with a big noisy bound;

 

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his pockets were sewn shut down to his boot;

A bag full of evidence he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just carrying his sack;

 

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

off with the goodies, he quickly sped.

And laying his finger inside of his nose,

He said, go home guys, it’s past time to close.


The insiders knew they had been had,

Ol Homer is daft but not totally mad;

He had listed all the payoffs in a little black book,

Just protecting my job, he said, with a sly look.

 

The moral of this story I have just told,

Is don’t trust the “leaders” who’ve been bought and sold;

nor their helpers and friends who depend on your tax money,

To live high on the hog and at ‘lection time call you honey.‘

 

 

Copyright-All in fun, Inc.

Don't Kick Santa Across The Yard, move on, give and celebrate Christmas

 

By Glenn Mollette

This Christmas give somebody the gift of mercy and forgiveness. Actually be broad with your giving and generous. We all need a lot of both. For such a joyful holiday of cheer, giving and yuletide merriment there are certainly a lot of stressed out sourpuss faces and agitated people. If you haven't seen any of these you probably haven't been to the mall or busy shopping districts. People get tense over decorating, shopping, spending, and fitting into their schedules all the jolly dinners, gatherings and religious services. You may have watched Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. He becomes over the top stressed out when his Christmas lights don't work and literally kicks, stomps and curses a blue streak across his yard. It's a funny scene. Mostly because in some way we've all been there a time or two.

We go crazy at Christmas. Everything is totally and abnormally different from the rest of the year. We spend money, eat, cook, travel and over schedule more than any other time of the year. By the time December 26 rolls around we're sick of Christmas. We start making a list of New Year's resolutions that include never doing some of the stuff ever again that we did at Christmas! By the time the next Christmas rolls around we do it all over again and often worse than the year before. We promise and swear we are going to do things differently but as long as we are able we do it over and again.

Most of us enjoy giving if we can. We enjoy giving to the people we love. Christmas trees, decorating, eating and gatherings are all a part of the season. However, we become frustrated when we lose sight of the big picture. The big picture includes looking around and beyond our Christmas pain. Millions of people would simply be thrilled to have the problems that some of us have. Many people are in the nursing home and will never go to the mall again. Some have a terminal disease and this may be their last Christmas. Others, would simply love to have a house to decorate or someone to buy a gift for.

Celebrate Christmas this year. Give away some special gifts. Give gifts that money can't buy or time cannot fade. Give love, give forgiveness and give some mercy. Extend these generously to yourself. If you can't give them to yourself it's impossible to give them to others. The little baby that Christmas celebrates became a man and taught people that we should love God and love others as we love ourselves. Herein is part of the rub. Too often people stop loving themselves. Life becomes imperfect, we fail, get hurt or mad and we kick Santa or the reindeer across the yard.  Unfortunately we stop there. We go into Ebenezer Scrooge bah humbug mode.  We don't get our groove back and miss out on some of Christmas' most wonderful characteristics- mercy and forgiveness. The Christmas story is about a child who came to show us the way. He showed us how to love, forgive and be merciful. Some of the people in your life probably need it more than you know. Give generously and start with yourself.

Dr. Glenn Mollette is a syndicated American columnist and author. He is read in all 50 states. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily representative of any other group, organization or this publication.

Like his facebook page at  https://www.facebook.com/GlennMollette

visit www.glennmollette.com

Kentucky fares well in new drug report;

LONDON – A new national report shows Kentucky fares well compared to other states in the number of patients potentially misusing non-prescribed medications or abusing illegal drugs.
Kentucky, “which has long been known as an epicenter of the national prescription drug epidemic,” was “noticeably absent” from the top 10 worst performing states in each of three categories studied, according to the report, released December 17 by Ameritox, a leader in medication monitoring solutions.
 

Urine samples were collected from more than 400,000 patients to examine three specific areas of concern: (1) patients who were prescribed drugs but those drugs weren’t found; (2) evidence of drugs for which there was no prescription; and (3) the presence of one or more illicit drugs.
“Kentucky showed modest improvements in each of the three categories between 2012 and 2014,” the research report stated. By comparison, overall more patients on chronic opioid therapy tested positive for a drug not prescribed by their doctor or for an illicit drug than two years ago.

“Treating pain is a major challenge in our society, and so is the potential for misuse of prescription medications and the abuse of illicit drugs,” said Scott Walton, CEO of Ameritox. “We need a concerted, dynamic approach – one that uses monitoring and additional insights at the clinical level – to address this problem.”

 

The report showed that Kentucky:


• Ranked 36th for “prescribed drug not found” at 23.7% of samples.
• Ranked 35th for “non-prescribed drug found” at 30.3% of samples.
• Ranked 22nd for “one or more illicit drugs found” at 11.9% of samples. Marijuana (78%), cocaine (16.7%) and heroin (4.6%) were the most common substances detected among the samples testing positive.

Van Ingram, executive director of the Kentucky Office of Drug Control Policy, said the report indicates state efforts to address this national epidemic are working.
“The strategies we have implemented in Kentucky are having a positive effect,” Ingram said. “Cautious prescribing, use of prescription monitoring systems and drug disposal are just some of the strategies that are having an impact on Kentucky’s prescription drug problems.”

There were 980 Kentucky resident drug overdose deaths in 2013, a 5% decrease from 1,032 deaths in 2012, according to the Kentucky Safety and Alignment Network. Drugs and medications – over-the-counter, prescription drugs and illicit drugs – were the underlying cause of death for 94.5% of all poisoning deaths in the state.

“It’s a validation that our treatment and education initiatives are working,” noted Dan Smoot, president and CEO of Operation UNITE, which has been dealing with prescription drug problems in southern and eastern Kentucky since 2003.

UNITE’s unique three-pronged approach to curbing prescription drug abuse and diversion – through law enforcement, treatment and education initiatives – has been heralded at many levels, including the White House. In addition, UNITE organizes an annual National Rx Drug Abuse Summit that is the largest national collaboration of professionals impacted by prescription drug abuse.

“Our success is due, in part, to state officials making prescription drug abuse a priority,” Smoot stated. “Through legislative action and support of programs such as Recovery Kentucky and Drug Courts, we’ve come leaps and bounds from the destructive spiral we were on just a decade ago.”

“Is there still work to be done? Absolutely,” Smoot said. “But, this positive report reflects that we’re moving in the right direction.”

For more information about Operation UNITE visit their website at www.operationunite.org<http://www.operationunite.org>.

 

POSTED: WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2014, 9:39 PM  

This post has been updated.

An editorial cartoon depicting children asking Santa Claus, "Keep us safe from the police," published in a Bucks County newspaper on Sunday has drawn the ire of the Fraternal Order of Police.

In a scathing letter dated Wednesday Philadelphia FOP Lodge 5 President John McNesby demanded an apology from the Bucks County Courier Times for the cartoon.

"Surprisingly, you have at least one reader of that excuse for a newspaper you run," McNesby wrote in part. "The one reader forwarded a copy of your disgraceful and highly offensive 'cartoon.' "

He went on to write that the newspaper owed an apology to every law-enforcement officer and their families for the cartoon.

"What's more, you owe a particular apology to the families of those officers who gave their lives to ensure that people like you could remain safe," the letter continues. "There is a special place in hell for you miserable parasites in the media who seek to exploit violence and hatred in order to sell advertisements," McNesby added later in his letter to the Levittown-based paper.

Since the cartoon appeared in the paper Sunday, it has drawn criticism in letters to the editor and on social media.

In a response to the backlash headlined "To our readers," posted on the paper's website at 5 p.m. Wednesday, Executive Editor Patricia S. Meagher-Walker wrote, "Our Editorial Page is a forum for opinions, even controversial ones. Letters, cartoons and guest opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of our editorial board, rather that of the author or artist."

The editorial cartoon is by Chris Britt, a nationally syndicated cartoonist.Meagher-Walker added, "Those who subscribe to this newspaper understand our commitment to the community and our steadfast support for law enforcement and those who work very hard to make Bucks County a better place to live. We are united in that effort," and encouraged angered readers to write letters to the editor.

One letter already submitted and published in the Courier Times Wednesday came from the wife of a police officer.

Kim DeForrest, of Morrisville, called the cartoon "ignorant," writing in part, "Yes, there are police who make mistakes or poor judgment. However, these fine men and women leave their families every day with a gun strapped to their hip and Kevlar on their chest to go out and protect the fine citizens who read your papers."

McNesby ended his fiery letter with a promise: "Rest assured that this letter will be distributed to as many residents and businesses in Bucks County as we are able to reach," he wrote. "Here's wishing you a bankrupt New Year."
 

Rhea

 

Here is a letter from Lazer contributor U.C. "Liss" Jones

 

Mr. or Mrs. or Miss Editor…

I sure hope that you have a happy X-mas…because your paper destroyed it for the kids, for their parents by publishing the political cartoon, without regard for feelings of small children and ALL Law Enforcement folks world wide.  

It is beyond the comprehension of any reasonable person as to why you would print that idiotic, Liberalistic, Cop hating, stupid A$$ Cartoon, and the message it is sending to young Children.  This cartoon is telling kids that Police cannot be trusted and will shoot kids….How stupid and deranged can people be?  

The cartoon says it all; the person drawing the cartoon and your paper for printing the cartoon, but you justify your stupidity on “Freedom of the Press.  

In closing, I leave you with 2 things…the next time you need a cop (I’m hoping they will be busy) please tell them that you have “freedom of the Press” on your side; I’m wishing you  a merry Christmas and that you receive the special gift of;  the fleas of a 1000 camels invade your private area and migrate to your Head.

 

U.C. "Liss" Jones

Hold Up Two Fingers

America falls behind China

 

By Glenn Mollette

Many of us heard the news on December 4. America is no longer number 1. We are now number 2. The Chinese economy overtook our economy to become the largest in the world.  We've been the leading economic power for about 150 years but times have changed. We can now take our number one finger down or instead hold up two fingers.

I remember as a child hearing about our country being number one in everything. We were the number one economic power. We were number one in Education. We were number one in the Olympics. We were the best in the space program. We were the best in making cars.

We smirked about our transitor radios made in Hong Kong although they were really good radios. We don't smirk today. If a television isn't make in Hong Kong or Japan we figure it's a piece of junk.

In 1975 I bought a Chevrolet Monza. Suddenly the whole floor was pulled out from beneath me when I realized General Motors was making garbage to sell to economy conscious consumers. It was like General Motors had thrown something together to sell to us poor young college students who were strapped for cash and wanted to make our gasoline go further. I struggled as this car suffered numerous breakdowns. Finally, I drove a Toyota Celica and felt like I was riding in a new Mercedes.

My father-in- law at the time was an engineer for General Motors and hated Japanese cars. He also served in the military in World War II and had nothing good to say about the Japanese.

Many American cars went through a poor craftsman stage during the early seventies. Our lousy production flooded the country with Toyotas, Nissans, Hondas and Volkswagens. There are now large manufacturing plants scattered throughout America bearing these names. I realize they hire Americans and that is great but how much money really ends up across the ocean?  I think most American cars are very good today. However, we got ourselves behind the eight ball due to a lot of years of poor craftsmanship. Today we are strangled due to the overwhelming retirement packages promised to retirees.

During the same era that we were making substandard cars, our government was cranking out free money and food stamps. This has only increased. We became obese, smoked our lungs out while trying to find entertainment through our four hundred television channels. Our government started paying people just enough so that they did not want to work. One employer recently lamented that his biggest competitor is the federal government.

We allowed lawyers to become crooks by conniving with clients on how to get something for nothing. Throughout Appalachia and other parts of our nation lawyers advertise promising their clients disability checks and other welfare compensation.

Too many Americans started buying into something for nothing. Somebody told us we didn't have to work hard or compete. We were simply entitled to the good life because we had been born. We demanded more wages, more generous retirement packages and gold lined health insurance packages. This was all great but many American corporations, strong-armed by unions, promised to pay what they really could not afford. Today they are struggling to pay retirees and cannot grow their current work force.

We must generate a new America. Fifty percent of the people cannot sit home while the other fifty percent carry the load. We cannot expect to collect wages when we may have contributed little into a system that is already eighteen trillion dollars in the red and bleeding red ink every day.

We can save America but we have to put our hands to work. Too many Americans have their hands out or are pointing their fingers at others. We need to point our hands and our fingers at ourselves and do something.  We need to do what we can for the sake of family, our country and ourselves. It's not what "they" can do for us. It's about what we can do to be the best, not number two.

 

Dr. Glenn Mollette is a syndicated American columnist and author. He is read in all 50 states. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily representative of any other group, organization or this publication.

Like his facebook page at  https://www.facebook.com/GlennMollette

visit www.glennmollette.com